for all you tweeps

You can also follow me on twitter: @miss_match_ed.

This twitter handle/account was willed to me by a fabulous and lucky Match member and inspired the blog title. I say lucky because she is no longer a Match member and found love pretty quickly!

Solely Match.com gems and updates on blog posts on this handle.

XOXO,
Ms. Matched

Sorry for the delay again

I have received many harassing text messages and IMs from my friends letting me know that you (and your coworkers- hello readers at NOAA, GILT, Voyage Prive', Surrey Satellite Technology to name a few) want an update!

First off, can I just say how exciting it is for me that you read this? Being a data-driven internet marketing person... I track my analytics. 2,500 page views so far, in 8 countries. Hello to the 9 or 10 of you in Singapore and Malaysia! I don't know if I know you, but thanks for stopping by. And I love hearing from you all! So don't be shy - leave some comments.

Keep in mind that I only blog about the crazies and the creeps. Never the cuties. I also don't blog about people I meet outside of match... So maybe, just maybe... I'm having luck?

Maybe I'm just busy. Soraya (Saharan Sweetheart) visited me in Seattle this weekend and we had a lovely weekend full of touristy adventures... 

 

highlight of the weekend? maybe...

Then I enjoyed a gourmet seafood dinner on Valentines day (my first single girl V-day since 2007) with my fabulous roommates. Can I just say I love Valentines day? I'm a sucker for it. Hearts, flowers, chocolate, love.... All good things! Single or taken, I have so much love in my life and so much to celebrate.... I will never be a V-day scrooge. 

And I would sure as hell rather enjoy my crab cakes with the girls than Cheap Charlie, Mass Text Max, Saint Daniel, or any of the other weirdos the internet sends my way. I recently received a message from a man with the username: LAZY_FirstNameCensoredNowThatMorePeopleReadThis. How attractive is that? If you find LAZY to be the appropriate definitive adjective for you... I'm busy. Indefinitely.

XOXO,
Ms. Matched

there is absolutely such thing as a stupid question.

I get a lot of people messaging me asking where Croatia is and WHAT Croatia is.

If you don't know what/where Croatia is.... you are not only an ignorant imbecile, but an ignorant imbecile completely unaware of a little site called GOOGLE.COM.

Other stupid questions include:

• Do you live in the Seattle area? Yes. You may notice it as the first thing in/on my profile under my age.
• I see you are reading The Facebook Effect? Is that about Facebook.com? No, it's about MYSPACE....

Am I being overly critical? Or are these questions really as stupid as I think?

XOXO,
Ms. Matched

3rd time ain't a charm, and 4th time's a restraining order

I'll be the first to admit it: On match.com, I'm one picky bitch.


I probably respond to one out of every 15-20 messages I receive. But with good reason. I've shared with you some of the freaky things people message me. I tend to be a magnet for the perv, the midlife crisis, and the straight up loser (who can't spell).

Unfortunately there tends to be a group of romantic hopefuls on Match who don't get the that the reason I'm not responding to you: IS BECAUSE I AM NOT INTERESTED.

I've had a mixture of wink, message,wink, wink, message, wink, wink, from a strange small man we can call T.

Also a message, message, wink, IM, message, from someone we can call B. I'm embarassed for him...

My most memorable clueless creep sent only messages. And passionate ones at that. Followed up each with some version of "hey there... not sure if you got my last message. I think you're absolutely the most amazing girl I've seen on this site. Would love to chat sometime".

I shared this story with a friend of mine also on Match.com. She had a strangely similar experience! With an equally strange individual...We both sign on to Match to compare.

Not only was this the same guy... we had received the same messages! This fool COPIED AND PASTED THE SAME EXACT MESSAGES. Lots of them! They were word for word the same. I thought I was the most amazing girl on match.com you creepy bastard!

Believe it or not, I'm over it. And I responded "thanks but no thanks" with the bit of advice that if someone doesn't respond to your first message, chances are even less likely they will respond to your second, and even less likely to you third, and so on. Why would you want to date someone that didn't show any interest in you?

I need to write a book. One day, digital daters.... one day.

XOXO,
Ms. Matched

Cheap Charlie

"Charlie" had potential y'all. He really did. But he may take the cake for the cheapest and most financially obsessed human being I have ever met.

He looked good pictures, seemed like an intelligent, motivated, and active individual, and actually had a picture of himself IN Croatia. Crazy! We'd at least have something to talk about. I tend to be more of a phone person than an message writer (strange, right? I blog...) so I gave Charlie my number and when he first called me we chatted for almost 4 hours on the phone. I was excited to meet him and we made plans to get brunch on Sunday.

So Charlie picks me up, and his car is actually one I am considering purchasing! I tell him so. He tells me about the great deal he got, how good the resale value is, how much his monthly payments are. Sort of odd details to share, but I'm not alarmed yet.

We start talking about work, and I ask about the actual location of his company. He tells me he commutes about 30miles each way to work, and is considering applying for jobs in downtown Seattle. He has calculated he would save about $40 a week in gas if he takes the bus. Which adds up to almost 15% of his rent or half of his current monthly student loan payment.

Hmmm... cool?

I start thinking maybe it would be better to talk about the here and now. Like the breakfast menu. Charlie tells me he likes this place, but a Denny's grand slam is $6 cheaper than the equivalent at this local joint.

I'm officially uncomfortable.

I tell him I'm having a hard time deciding. Charlie offers me the following advice:

"It's a better value to get this one, because you get french toast as well. And it's the same price. Even if you don't eat the french toast you can save it for later. And you get a trip to the toppings bar. But only one trip so you have to fit as much on your plate as possible. I find if you put the whipped cream on top instead of on the side you can get the toppings to stick better and get more for your money."
 
See ya Charlie. You are too much for me. I hope you find a girl who's as excited to save $6 at Denny's as you are.

Don't get me wrong, I love a good bargain. But on designer shoes, not on first date.

judge away

XOXO,
Ms. Matched

if you wear these on a first date

there will be no second date.

XOXO

Ms. Matched (via Saharan Sweetheart)

just your everyday perverts

Hello dear readers! I apologize for the week gap in between posts. I've been SLAMMED at my "day job" and worked about 60 hours this week, including both days this weekend. But you don't want to read about that. You want to read about the freaks who try to date me.

So we all know the internet is jam packed with sex addicts and lonely perverts and it seems Match.com is no exception. Here's a few winners from especially pervy message category.

pervy compliment
you are very very sexxxy. I love you body and I would love to see it in person. very sexy. yummmm.


pervy question:
so how do you like to express yourself sexually?


pervy closing paragraph:
When you respond back, I might share with you some of my bad boy thoughts and fantasies. You might have what it takes to bring out the hidden qualities in me. One final thing that I think you deserve and ought to know - i'm not looking for cyber sex or online fantasies. If you are not interested in an in-person meeting, don't reply. Delete my email and pass up on a wild and exciting adventure


Though I wish I could glorify this post and describe one of these people in person, I have been blessed with the better judgement to keep these freaks online. And on Dateline NBC's "To Catch a Predator", where they belong.

Other updates:

• I ran into Saint Daniel crossing the street on my way to the gym at 6:30 am this week. Avoided eye contact. This city is much too small.
• MASS TEXT MAX DIDN'T TEXT ME ON FRIDAY! First time in 7 weeks. Three possible reasons: 
1. He met a Mass Text Maxine who was all about him. 
2. He got a clue and realized I didn't respond to him for almost two months (I feel this is the least likely option). 
3. He stumbled across my blog. If you're out there "Max", thank you. And, with the utmost respect, I hope to never hear from you again :-)

XOXO,

Ms. Matched